I understand. At the worst possible time, life throws at you the most horrible challenge yet and expects you to handle it. Sometimes, you’re forced to push past your limits and get out of your comfort zone against your own will. It seems like everything is crashing down on you- and you’re at your breaking point. It’s tough. Life’s tough. There are times in life that you’ll succeed, and times that you’ll fail. That’s typical. Life has it’s ups and downs- no one is truly happy at every point in their life.
I remember a time when I fell deep into sadness. It was completely uncalled for.
Every year, my Chinese school has a school-wide speech competition in which every single kid must get up on stage on that specific day and deliver to the audience (the rest of the students, teachers, and principal) in about 2-3 minutes. This isn’t that bad for me now, since I’m older and grown used to the stage, but when I was younger, it was totally terrifying. I was a shy kid to begin with, not to mention had a bad case of stage fright. My class would practice during class, but every time I got up in front of everyone, I’d freeze up, my hands would become clammy and I wouldn’t be able to say a word. I remember the night before my first speech competition, I stayed up memorizing what I would say because I couldn’t sleep. I probably repeated it almost a hundred times before I could trust that I knew it and went to bed. The next morning though, when I went up in front of everyone, my mind blanked out completely and I stammered for a couple seconds before I gave up and just got off the stage. I still remember hearing the pity claps I received. I felt so ashamed of myself afterwards. I went directly into the restroom and cried. I didn’t want to see anyone after that. I had that mentality that life was over for me. I didn’t want to go to Chinese school anymore, I was scared of facing everyone that saw me make a fool of myself.
During times like this, it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to shrivel up and drown yourself in your sorrows. It’s okay to eat ice cream and feel depressed. But after that, there needs to be a recovery. You have to move on, stand up, and continue on with life. “Fall down five times, get up six.” That’s the only way you’ll be happy. You can’t let yourself remain in the past, remembering wretched memories and pondering over what could have been. Get help. Talk to a family member or friend, let your feelings out and then stand up strong. Live life with no regrets.
It was my mother who got me out of my sadness. After I told her what I’d done in school that very day, she comforted me and allowed me to cry on her shoulder. She told me that life goes on, and that after a couple weeks, no one will remember that day. She told me to stop crying and to move on, that things will only get better from there. And she was right. That’s why when I saw the French phrase “C’est a la vie” during class last Monday I thought of my mom and how she changed my perspective on life. “C’est a la vie” basically means “Oh well, that’s life.” So since that’s the way life is, live it to the fullest. Make every second count. Don’t waste time on things that never happened.
So Chickeneers, if you’re at a tough part of your life right now, I want to tell you that you’re not alone. Talk it over with somebody and try to make the best of it. Think positive, and never look back. Keep moving on.